I have a maker....

We sang a song in church last night.  "I have a maker".  As I stood there singing the song, Anabella attached to my leg, flashes of me holding our little brown boy race through my mind.  I just want to squeeze him tight and smell his little cheeks.  I can't wait for the day when we will be able to say that before even time began that his life was in the Lord's hands.  This will be the hard part.  Waiting.  It's been all of five days since Todd and I realized we were going to lay down every reason why we were postponing the process.  Now everyday my thoughts are caught wondering if our little boy is already born, what he will eat today or if he will eat today.  Will someone hug him, and will he feel lonely and unloved.  I wonder if he expects a family in another part of the world to be longing for him.  Will he ever understand the moments I sat here just aching to hold him and make up for every moment he spent without a family and to hear him call me mommy.  This will be an emotional journey I can tell.  The waiting.... this next year will feel like a decade.  I wonder how the Lord handles the waiting.  Sometimes He waits, months, years, even decades for someone to finally call Him, Father.  No wonder heaven rejoices when someone comes to the Lord.  All that waiting...  What kind of patience are we dealing with here?  I definitely don't have it.  :}
We talked to the adoption agency on Monday and again on Tuesday. :}  I may become annoying at some point.  Poor Heather, she is in charge of the program for Uganda.  After I spoke with her, all sorts of doubts and fears began.  Adoption is expensive...I am reminded that I know someone who paid the ultimate price to adopt me into His family.  We have to find a bigger house/apartment within our budget.... Traveling for 4-6 weeks to Uganda......  Health issues that could arise after we get him home... so many things.  What a journey of faith this will be.  I don't know how it is all going to work out at this point all I know is that somewhere in Uganda is a little boy that needs a family.  He has a maker, the one who formed his heart, before even time began his life was in the Lord's hand.  The Lord knows his name, every thought,  and sees each tear that falls.  He has a Father, who calls him his own.  The Lord will never leave him.  We are patiently waiting (perhaps not so patiently at times), to see the miracles that take place as the Lord hears the cries of a little boy for a family and the heart of a family to be that little boys daddy, mommy, sisters, and brother. 
" One day sweet boy, you will read this blog and see that your mommy loved you and wanted you.  One day we will share with you the amazing testimony of how the Lord gave us you."