Today!

           I have this serious personality quirk, I am to the embarrassment of myself and perhaps others, extremely see through.  I can't help it, I just find so much freedom in being transparent and open about where I am and what is going on in my life.  Ask my husband and he will confirm that I have made him blush on multiple occasions (in front of people).  Often I open my mouth and 2 seconds later wish that both of my feet would have just jumped in before the words had a chance to escape.
            That being said, it has been the transparency of others that has so often been used by the Lord for my healing.  I can just start naming women who have at some point said out loud what I was too ashamed or even confused to let process in my heart.  Susan, Liz, Caroline, Jess (I call her Barth), Lindy, Barb, my mom, and my list could go on and on,  these are women that the Lord used to speak healing and restoration into my life on so many occasions.  Transparency-what a beautiful thing.
         All that to say, I will confess that I am all to often very emotional and I doubt, and then even pout  like a little child.  Only a few days ago, I allowed myself to get so discouraged;  I just wanted to curl up in a little ball and cry, alone.  So, I did.  I put myself under some covers and I guess I thought I could just stay there like that for the rest of forever.  HUMOR ME, it sounded good in my self absorbed moment of self pity.  I felt so smothered and detached from things that really matter.  Think about it, so much of what invades and often conquerors our days, doesn't even matter.  We spend endless moments in this routine chaos of pointless pursuit, gaining what..... stupid stuff that we end up putting in a give away box a few weeks or months down the road when the newest and best is now on our mind.  Our children are saturated with every modern convenience and to their detriment we lavish the hottest items on them, so that they what.....have an I phone and can get a hold of us if the earth does shake and the sky does start to fall.  I mean what is up with this mad race we are all running?  Well I think about crazy stuff a lot, really I do.  It all bothers me and then I start thinking-Lord, what am I doing?  I am suppose to be in Africa or somewhere sharing the greatness of your name.  I begin to question everything around me and if I can really love the least of these, and surrender my life as a slave to Jesus Christ.  Then I am so caught up in feeling like I need to do something more to help the suffering and couple that with trying to get the paperwork approved, so that we can be a forever family to orphans.....the result is me on a couch...under covers...in a ball....crying...feeling hopeless.  See I am really spiritual!  Todd, finally took me by the hand and said, "Jess please will you just trust the Lord with me, just take even the littlest grain of faith you can muster up and believe with me that God is going to do something incredible. Be free to just completely rely on God. He can provide me with a job and it will all be in His perfect timing."   In case you feel like you missed something, Todd has 3 jobs, well he needs to just have one-it looks better on paper, less variable.  :}  So, here I am again that annoying doubting girl!  Oh how I hate that I am always her.  How many times do I need to be reminded of the amazing hand of God, who has done so many incredible things in our lives already.  As Brother Billy says, "I digress.
A dear friend, Jenny, shared her heart with me today and the Lord just spoke to me through her words and I wanted to share them with you
  "Be present in each day. Be Christ to every person you are with TODAY. Be faithful with the work and the children and the relationships he has given you TODAY. Speak boldly today. Glorify him with your life today. He knows what tomorrow holds. He knows the future size of your family, what color your children will be, what people you will share Christ with and in what country. He has prepared of all that for you and because you are seeking him you will find it and you will finish it.  And he has prepared all of THIS for you. This is what he has given you today. This is what he prepared in advance for you to do today."

I don't know what you may be facing or what the Lord is doing in your life, but be present in each day!  Don't just be a winded flurry completing your days, engage in what the Lord is doing and show up for His presence in your life!